Religious joke

A Sunday School class of about ten kids is being run. The teacher asks, "What body part do you think goes to Heaven first?"

Little Susie says, "Your head goes in first, because you float up."

Little Janie says, "No. Your hands go in first because you're praying."

Little Johnny says, "You're both wrong. You go in feet-first." The teacher is perplexed. "Why feet first, Johnny?"

Johnny says, "Last night, I went into Mommy and Daddy's bedroom and Mommy's feet were in the air, and she said, 'Oh God, I'm coming!'"

New Wine For Seniors

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as

PINO MORE


I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE

Ahhhh Venice....

Me and a friend were staying at a hostel in Venice. After he spent the night drinking cheap wine, he was locked out by the hostel's curfew.
After spending the night roaming the streets, he finally made it in at 9am the next morning. He had a nap and woke up to find a disgusting lump in his shorts.

He felt horrible for having done it, and worse for not even remembering....